Mum Forgives Daughter’s Boyfriend After He Killed Her
Kate Grosmaire is an American mother who has done something you never thought anyone could do.
She has forgiven the killer of her child.
The killing happened in March 2010 and the first Asher and her husband knew about the incident was when they got a call from the deputy sheriff of their local police force.
Police told them that their daughter had been shot, and Asher’s first question was ‘’Was Conor with her?’’ to which the police responded ‘’Conor McBride? Conor is the one who killed her.’’
The boyfriend and girlfriend were very close, Anne was the youngest of Kate’s three children and loved theatre, she met Conor in her drama class, and they instantly attracted to each other.
However, their arguments were apparently very intense, and the initial thought was, that an argument had got out of hand.
When Kate and her family got to Tallahassee Memorial hospital, they were told that Anne had been shot at close range through her right eye with a shotgun.
The daily knew that Anne was struggling to stay alive as doctors were telling them that her organs were failing, and nothing was working as it should.
Following lengthy discussions, the family decided to take Anne off life-support, but there was one thing Kate decided to do before she did that, go and see Conor in prison.
For some bizarre reason, Conor had listed Kate as one of the people that could come and visit him. His first words were ‘I’m so so so sorry’’’ while he cried.
Asher replied by saying ‘’Conor, Mr Grosmaire wants me to tell you that he loves you and forgives you. You know I love you. And I forgive you.’’
Immediately after visiting Conor, Asher had to go back to the hospital to say goodbye to Anne. Initially, she thought Anne would be able to go into a hospice and get around the clock care, but when she returned, she was not breathing. It only took five minutes for her to pass away after coming off life support.
This is only the start of the story. Between them, Kate and her husband starting working with Conor's parents to understand what happened, they believed that both of them had lost children as a result of the situation, and they wanted to resolve the matter without it being difficult.
Fourteen months after Anne’s death, the families sat around in a circle to hold their court, also called a restorative justice circle.
They chatted through Anne’s life, so Conor could hear every detail about how great kid she was. He was left stunned and cried his way through the whole process.
When Conor was able to speak, he told the circle about how his and Anne’s relationship worked saying ‘’Ann, and I would sometimes fight because I didn't understand the things that were important to her. She'd get disappointed in me."
The day of Anne’s shooting was no different.
They had fought heavily on a Friday night, but Anne had just received a significant achievement at school and wanted to go on a picnic. This didn’t happen, and the couple kept arguing all night and day.
By the time the next morning came, both teens were exhausted, and Anne said she was leaving, crying and sad ‘’I wish you were dead!’’
At this stage, Connor went back inside, grabbed his dads shotgun and pinned to his chin. Anne quickly figured out what was going on and tried to knock the door down to stop him.
Nothing worked until he finally let her into his bedroom and Conor threatened Anne with his gun when he asked if that is what she wanted, him dead, she said no.
He then turned the gun on Anne, just meaning to be threatening and was so angry that he pulled the trigger. He immediately regretted the decision, but it was too late.
When it came to sentencing Conor after all discussions had finished, he was offered two different sentences; he could take 25 years straight in jail or serve 20 years with ten years of probation.
He chose the latter.
Still to this day, Conor is a correctional institute just 30 miles away from his home. He talks to Kate every Tuesday.
By going through the justice circle, they understood what Conor was feeling at the time, and although they don't agree with it, they wanted there to be freedom for everyone. They did not want to ruin more lives as a result of a mistake.
Could you do the same?