Dear Diary...A Day In The Life Of...
We’ve lifted pages from the secret diaries of some of the world’s biggest names.
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Friday 18 May
7.30am: It’s Christmas. Yayy. I think? have no idea what the plan is for today. Everyone seems to have a blanket rule about keeping me in the dark. It’s kinda depressing.
9.55am: I spent a while playing in the sandbox this morning. Just keeping out of everyone’s way, you know. I think I’ll keep hiding until it’s time for presents. when they duck, I’ll weave. When they zig, I’ll zag. They’ll never see me.
3.30pm: I don’t understand why people get excited about Christmas presents. All I got was a lousy kite. I was hoping for a footy, but I missed out. Nuts.
5.48pm: Now I’m even more depressed. I seem to always be in the doghouse, mostly because Patty keeps snooping around. Patty saw me pinching some peppermints. Then that Red Baron chased me away. Sigh. Maybe that little red haired girl will make me feel better.
Who am I?
Answer: Charlie Brown
A Charlie Brown Christmas is a famous Charlie Brown movie; Blanket rule - Charlie’s friend Linus carries a blanket; It’s depressing - Charlie is often depressed; Sandbox - Charlie’s name was first used in a comic where he was buried in a sandbox; Zig/zag - Charlie’s jumper has a zigzag pattern; Charlie became invisible in “It’s Magic, Charlie Brown”; Kite - Charlie brown’s nemesis is a kite that gets tangled in a tree; Footy - Lucy often offers to let him kick her football, then pulls it out of the way; Nuts - Charlie is part of the Peanuts strip; doghouse/snoopy - Charlie's dog is Snoopy; Patty/Peppermint - Peppermint Patty is a friend of Charlie’s; Red Baron - Snoopy often fights the Red Baron; Little red haired girl - Charlie’s silent love
Thursday 17 May
3.15am: Heading out for an early run. Gotta keep the energy levels up. Big, big day ahead. Bathroom first. Splash some water on the old face. Wow, that’s a wake up call. Heading outside, oh yeah. Let’s go.
5.45am: Breakfast yeah, Then catching up with a few of the guys. Good guys. Then I’m racing off to a book reading with Ron. Oh yeah. Big, big day.
2.32pm: Hopping on a jet in a minute. Interview with Scott then drinks with Brian then dancing with Ben. Big Day. Legendary.
9.55pm: Big day. Big night. Long way to go til I hit the couch. It’s risky, but I’m going to tell Katie that I love her. I’m going to tell everybody. This is far and away my best day ever. Mission impossible? Nope, I made all the right movies.
Who am I?
Answer: Tom Cruise
Up early/going for a run - Tom Cruise is notoriously high energy; Bathroom/splash water - His first major role was in Taps; Heading Outside - He featured in The Outsiders in 1983; A few of the guys - A Few Good Men is a Tom Cruise movie; Racing - Tom’s movie Days Of Thunder is about car racing; Book reading with Ron - Author L Ron Hubbard founded Scientology; Hopping on a jet - Top Gun is a Tom Cruise movie; Interview - Interview With The Vampire is a Tom Cruise movie; Scott/Legendary - Ridley Scott cast Tom in the movie Legend; Drinks with Brian - Tom starred opposite Brian Brown in Cocktail; Dancing with Ben - Tom Cruise did a big dance scene in Ben Stiller’s in Tropic Thunder; Big day, big night - Knight & Day is a Tom Cruise movie; Hit the couch - Tom famously jumped on Oprah’s couch; It’s risky - Risky Business is a Tom Cruise movie; Tell Katie/tell everybody - Tom announced his love for Katie Holmes on Oprah; Far and away - a Tom Cruise movie; Mission impossible - a Tom Cruise movie; All the right moves - a Tom Cruise movie
Wednesday 16 May
5.45am: Have to get up early this morning. Joe’s taking me to the beach to check out the sea eagles. It’s looking pretty windy, which is ok but I hope it’s not too cold.
10.10am: The eagles were fun. I’m glad I’m a mate of Joe’s. he takes me lots of cool places. We had croissants for breakfast though, and I’m not big on French food. I’m catching up with Hugh for lunch. Maybe we’ll have fish?
2.47pm: I went for a wander after lunch. I like just cruising around, listening to some oldies…. Wings’ Venus & Mars. I stopped at the banks cause I wanted to pick up some seedlings at the nursery.
5.55pm: my wander was a bit of a terror. I endeavoured to map the entire trip, but I almost lost my resolution. So I swung by Australia for a sandwich, then stopped in Hawaii for a killer holiday
Who am I?
Answer: Captain Cook
Joe - Cook’s first naval posting was under Captain Joseph Hamar; Sea eagles - His first naval posting at sea was on the HMS Eagle; Windy - Cook served aboard sailing ships; Mate of Joe’s - Cook was a master’s mate under Captain Joseph Hamar; Not big on French food - Cook fought the French while aboard The Eagle; Catching up with Hugh - Hugh Palliser was the 2nd naval captain Cook served under; Cruising around - Cook was famous for his voyages of exploration; Venus & Mars - His first voyage was to observe the transit of Venus; Banks/nursery - Joseph Banks was the botanist on The Endeavour; Terror - Cook explored the coast of Terra Australis; Endeavoured to map - one of Cook’s ship was The Endeavour and he was a cartographer; Lost my resolution - The Resolution was one of Cook’s ships; Australia - Cook was famous for mapping the east coast of Australia; Sandwich - Cook named the Sandwich Islands; Hawaii for a killer holiday - Cook died in Hawaii
Tuesday 15 May
11am: Blue skies, so it’s laundry day today. I love laundry day. I like to wash my pants together. I like to wash my shirts together. So nothing ever runs. That’s using the old skull, right?
12.45pm: I like to watch a bit of snooker now and then when I eat my lunch. Eddie Charlton stuff, you know? I like to watch the colours on the screen. I’m very easily amused, but hey, that’s life.
4pm: I’m glad I stayed in for lunch. I went out for afternoon tea and was mobbed by fans. They’re animals. I have no private life any more. Maybe privacy should be my quest?
8pm: Time for bed. I don’t stay up late at my age and it’s been a busy day. 11 documentaries and 23 public appearances. I sometimes feel like there isn’t a single person on planet earth who is as old as I am and still monkeying around. My brother Richard used to say. “David, in the end we’re all just animals enjoying life on earth”
Who am I?
Answer: David Attenborough
Blue skies - David wears a trademark blue shirt while filming; Wash pants/shirts together - he wears the same outfits when filming; Old skull - in 2012, an old human skull was found in in his backyard when renovating; Snooker - David introduced televised snooker to the BBC; Colours on the screen - David introduced the first colour TV to the BBC; That’s life - David’s series Life On Earth was a massive success; Animals - David Attenborough’s passion; Private life - Private Life Of Plants was a David Attenborough series; Quest - David’s first few major series included Zoo Quest in the title; At my age - David is 92; Documentaries/public appearances - David is still in the public eye; Planet Earth - A major David Attenborough series; Monkeying around - David’s life was all about animals; Brother Richard - David’s brother was Richard Attenborough; Life on earth - A major David Attenborough series
Monday 14 May
6.13am: I woke up hungry this morning. Well, let’s be honest, It’s no mystery. I wake up hungry every morning. I wonder what’s for breakfast?
11.44am: Time to rev up the van and hit the road. 4 on the floor. We’re heading overseas to Copenhagen for an awesome gig tonight. I’m a little bit scared, but excited.
11.12pm: What a night. If the gig was supposed to be about uncovering bad acts, then job done. Well, except us. We were good. Joe & Ken said they’d throw us a bone.
11.59pm: I spoke to soon. That scrappy nephew of mine showed up. I hate him. If you stop paying him attention he just runs arounds screaming “where are you, where are you?” Fred and Daphne tried to catch him in a trap, but it Velma who finally got rid of him. I have to hit the sack. I’m shagged.
Who am I?
Answer: Scooby Doo
Woke up hungry - Scooby Doo is always hungry; It’s no mystery - Scooby is part of Mystery Inc.; Rev up the van - The Mystery machine is a van; 4 on the floor - Scooby has 4 legs; Copenhagen for an awesome gig - Scooby is a great Dane; Little bit scared - Scooby is always scared; What a night - The title of the first Scooby Doo episode; Uncovering bad acts - The Scooby gang always uncovered the baddy; Joe & Ken - Joe Ruby & Ken Spears were the creators of Scooby Doo; Throw us a bone - dogs love bones; Scrappy nephew - Scrappy Doo was Scooby’s nephew; Where are you - ‘Scooby Doo, Where Are You’ was the title of the first series; Fred/Daphne - Characters from Scooby Doo; Trap - Fred specialised in traps; Velma - Character from Scooby Doo; I’m shagged - Shaggy was a character from Scooby Doo
Friday 11 May
10.13am: How come every time I try to do something different, I get told it’s impossible? I feel like I’m surrounded by invisible walls. Don’t they know who I am? I’ve got to do something. I need my space.
12.12pm: I’ve decided to reinvent myself. Kind of a personal rebirth, last resort ya know? If that doesn’t convince them to listen, I don’t know what will. Their excuses are getting thin.
3.35pm: I just got back from a meeting with the studio. There are going to be some changes around here. It’s odd, but Larry & Barb were the only ones who understood why.
7.35pm: They still don’t understand. This isn’t about fame. It’s not about my rise or fall. I mean, these are my golden years and I should enjoy them. It’s like I’m in a labyrinth of confusion, but if I can find my way out there’ll be dancing in the streets. These studio guys are absolute beginners.
Who am I?
Answer: David Bowie
Invisible walls - A favourite with mimes, Bowie studied mime in his early years; Need my space - A Space Oddity was a Bowie hit; Reinvent myself - Bowie was famous for reinventing himself; Personal rebirth/last resort - His last single release was Lazarus, who was brought back from the dead in The Bible; Getting thin - The Thin White Duke was one of Bowie’s personas; Changes - A Bowie song; Odd - A Space Oddity was a huge Bowie hit; Larry & Barb - Larry Hagman & Barbara Feldon were in I Dream Of Genie, Jean Genie was a Bowie hit; Fame - A Bowie hit; Rise or fall - The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust was a Bowie hit; Golden Years - A Bowie hit; Labyrinth - Bowie played the Goblin King in Labyrinth; Dancing in the streets - A Bowie hit; Absolute beginners - A Bowie hit
Thursday 10 May
It’s 1 am. I’m totally over this party. Even the music sucks. All they’re playing is the theme song from Annie. Over and over and over. Seriously? I need a drink.
5pm: Uurrgghh. I’m still hungover. Such a big night last night. Im supposed to be at an orthodontist appointment, but I reckon I’ll die if I have to get out of bed.
7.25pm: It’s Saturday night but I’m not sure I can handle another big one. Chris and Gary are swinging by with that stupid van. Their pick-up palace. It’s all decked out with mirrors in the ceiling. I don’t see myself in it.
11.59pm: I’ve been partying or sleeping for almost 24 hours. I really need a steak but it’ll give me heartburn. I’ve been coffin since dawn this morning, but I’m not completely dead. Maybe it’s time to say fangs and goodbye.
Who am I?
Sucks - Dracula sucks; Theme song from Annie - Annie Lennox did the theme song for Bram Stoker’s Dracula; Orthodontist - Dracula has fangs; Die if I get out of bed - Dracula can’t get up in the daytime; Chris & Gary - Christopher Lee & Gary Oldman have played Dracula; Van - Van Helsing was Dracula’s nemesis; Mirrors/don’t see myself - Dracula has no reflection; Steak/heartburn - Stake in the heart; Coughing/Coffin, Not completely dead - Dracula is one of the living dead; Fangs and goodbye - Dracula has fangs
Wednesday 9 May
It’s, I dunno...1pm-ish I guess. Just relaxing, listening to Achtung Baby and polishing the bowling ball. Hooah, daddyo.
2pm: I feel sorry for everyone who can’t spend the day doing nothing. I love it. I mean, today I’m relaxing in Miami taking care of myself, tomorrow it’s back to LA, taking care of the sheep.
4pm: So far it’s been a good day. I had a late breakfast, had a good lunch with the ex, had 4.. maybe 5 drinks with Sam. Yawn. I’m still having dinner with friends tonight.
11pm: At dinner, Demi kept telling me I’m looking old, but I said look who’s talking. She wants me to admit I’ve had a nip and tuck but I still plead the 5th. Between you and me, I went the whole 9 yards years ago. The whole 10 yards even. I’m surprised she can’t tell. She has a 6th sense about these things. Well, at least if I stay relaxed about it, I won’t die hard.
Who am I?
Answer: Bruce Willis
Achtung Baby - Bruce was born in West Germany; Bowling ball - Bruce is bald; Hooah, daddyo - Hooah is a military chant, Bruce’s dad was in the army; Miami - Bruce’s first TV appearance was in Miami Vice; New York - Die Hard is set in LA; Taking care of the sheep - Bruce starred opposite Cybil Shepherd in Moonlighting; Good day - Good Day To Die Hard is a Bruce Willis movie; Lunch with the ex - Bruce is famously on good terms with his ex Demi Moore and her partner Ashton Kutcher; 4, maybe 5 drinks with Sam - Bruce has done 4 movies with Samuel L Jackson. A 5th is in post-production; Dinner with Friends - Bruce Willis played one of Rachel’s love interests in Friends; Demi - Demi Moore is Bruce’s ex; Look Who’s Talking - A Bruce Willis Movie; Plead the 5th - Bruce starred in The 5th Element; Whole 9 Yards/10 Yards - Both Bruce Willis movies; 6th Sense - A Bruce Willis movie; Die Hard - A Bruce Willis movie
Tuesday 8 May
6.23am: Woke up with a bad case of bed head. I have to catch up with the rellies for lunch. I’m hoping they serve that cheese we had last time. Mmmmm. Cheese.
3.30pm: Bleh. Lunch was a bust. The cheese had worms, everything was either too hot or too cold and all my cousin wanted to talk about was her wedding.
6.45pm: I’ve had enough of the family. After lunch I told everyone I’m leaving and moving to the states. In theory, Charlie can put me up for a while. If he can’t, I’ll hit Geoff up.
11.22pm: I’m still wide awake mentally, but I’m physically drained. The general theory of relatives is that they are a black hole of annoyance. Cousin Elsa was really upset. You know, she even has Albert tattooed on her shoulder? Hmmm. Oh well, time to hit the sack. If I can’t sleep I’ll head down to the club on the corner. DJ E and MC Squared are on stage. Should be the bomb.
Who am I?
Answer: Albert Einstein
Bed head/Haircut - Einstein had famously unkempt hair; Relatives - Einstein created the theory of relativity; Cheese - Swiss cheese, Einstein worked in a swiss patent office; Cheese had worms - Einstein wrote about wormholes; Too hot or too cold - Einstein wrote his first paper on thermodynamics; Cousin/wedding - Einstein married his first cousin Elsa; Moving to the states - Einstein famously went to live in the US before WW2; In theory - he was famous for his theories; Charlie - He was very good friends with Charlie Chaplin; Geoff - Geoffrey Rush played Einstein in the series Genius; Physically drained - Einstein was a physicist; General theory of relatives - Theory of relativity; Black holes - theorised in his general relativity papers; Elsa - Einstein’s wife; Albert - Einstein’s first name; DJ E and MC Squared - e=mc2; The bomb - Einstein’s work helped lead to the atomic bomb
Monday 7 May
Umm... Dearest Diary. My Dear, Dear Diary. Hmm… have to work on that first line.
8.30 am: Why am I awake? I have no idea? I was fast asleep when the doorbell rang. I thought it was Ken. But, it turns out it was Liz.
10.12am: Liz wants to go to some old movie tonight. Forbidden Story or something. She knows I’m married. I’m not sure if I should go. Man, this is getting complicated.
16.16: I’m dead tired. Keeping all these relationships in line is exhausting. I haven’t slept for the past 12 nights. Almost 2 weeks. I had to ask Joseph to stand in for me.
9.59pm: This whole affair is getting out of hand. As far as I’m concerned it’s much ado about nothing, but does everyone else think it’s a comedy of errors? That is the question. Oh well, all’s well that ends well.
Who am I?
Answer: William Shakespeare
Ken - Kenneth Branagh is a famous Shakespearean actor; Liz calling - Elizabeth 1st was a patron of Shakespeare; Forbidden Planet - Based on The Tempest; West Side Story - Based on Romeo & Juliet; She knows I’m married - Anne Hathaway was Shakespeare’s wife; 16.16 Dead tired - Shakespeare died in 1616; Haven’t slept for 12 nights - The Twelfth Night; Joseph - Joseph Fiennes played Shakespeare in Shakespeare In Love; Much ado about nothing - A Shakespeare play; Comedy of errors - A Shakespeare play; That is the question - To Be Or Not To Be quote from Hamlet; All’s well that ends well - A play by Shakespeare
Friday 4 May
7.25am: The boss called again last night. He says I need to lift my performance. Damn he works me hard. If he doesn’t quit bugging me I’m going to crack. I may have to talk to someone else
11.45am: Seriously? I spoke to Steve instead and he’s even worse. I think he wants me to lose weight. I hope I don’t have to go on a diet. I hate scales.
3.15pm: Today sucks. I’ve been fighting with George & Steve, I’m still having issues regarding Henry and even worse, someone graffitied my car.
5pm: I’m doomed. A witness saw me raiding George’s house in Indiana. There’s a clear and present danger that I may have to become a fugitive. Even Calista says I shouldn’t be presumed innocent. This could be my last crusade.
Who am I?
Answer: Harrison Ford
Lift my performance - Harrison Ford is a performer; Going to crack - Harrison cracks a whip as Indiana Jones; Steve - Steven Spielberg made 'Raiders Of The Lost Ark'; I hate scales - Indiana Jones famously hates snakes; Issues regarding henry - Harrison starred in 'Regarding Henry'; Graffitied my car - Harrison starred in 'American Graffiti'; I’m doomed - Harrison starred in 'The Temple Of Doom'; Raiding George’s house - Harrison starred in 'Raiders Of the Lost Ark'; Clear and present danger - Harrison starred in 'Clear and Present Danger'; Calista - Harrison’s wife is Calista Flockhart; Presumed innocent - Harrison starred in 'Presumed Innocent'; Last Crusade - Harrison starred in 'The Last Crusade'
Thursday 3 May
Dear Diary. 9.15am. Yay, today’s the big day. We’re going to watch the whales. I love whales. Grandma likes to give them names.
11.46am. Well, that was a disappointment. It was so boring. My brother Billy said I looked like a whale. I was going to hit him, but he said
3.30pm. I had carrot cake for afternoon tea. I kept the carrot tops and I’m going to see if I can grow them. We’re going on an excursion next week. I said I wanted to go to Australia.
7.30pm. George and Charlotte have already gone to bed, but I’m staying up late. I’m going to have a sleepover at Meaghan’s. Grandma made me say sorry to Billy. Apparently, I have to call him William in private and Your Royal Highness when we’re out. Being a younger brother sucks.
Who am I?
Answer: Prince Harry
Watch the whales: Harry is Prince Henry of Wales; Charlie: Prince Charles is Prince Of Wales; Brother Billy: Prince William; The boss of me: William is closer in line to the throne; Growing carrot tops: Harry is a redhead; Wetherby was Harry’s school; Harry spent part of his gap year in Australia like his father; George & Charlotte: Harry’s niece and nephew; Meaghan: Harry’s fiancé; William/Your Royal Highness: Harry’s brother Prince William
Wednesday 2 May
Dear Diary: 8.38am. You know, it gets harder and harder to get out of bed these days. When I was 21, I’d hit the streets straight away. Now getting up early reminds me of the days I sold ballpoint pens. I hate pens.
12.45pm. I almost cut my fingers this morning. Betty would have cut my head off if she knew I’d played with anything sharp. Huh. She doesn’t know jack.
9.19pm. Ok, this is getting weird. Tim is off in some sort of wonderland, and Charlie’s in the corner eating chocolate. Ed showed up, but of
Who am I?
Answer: Johnny Depp
When I was 21, I’d hit the streets: Johnny starred in 21 Jump Street; Ballpoint pens. Sold pens over the phone as an early job; Cut my fingers: Starred in Edward Scissorhands; Betty: Betty Sue is Johnny’s mother. He also has a tattoo of her name; Cut my head off: Johnny starred in The Headless horseman; She doesn’t know Jack: he starred as Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean; Tim’s house: Johnny has made many movies with Tim Burton; Nick of time: Johnny starred in the movie Nick Of Time; Something eating gilbert: Jonny starred in What’s eating Gilbert Grap; Tim/wonderland: Tim Burton directed Johnny in Alice In Wonderland; Charlie in the corner with chocolate: Johnny starred in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory; Ed would: Johnny starred in Ed Wood; Pirate curse: Johnny starred in Pirates Of The Caribbean; Grab a pistol and say boo: Johnny’s dogs Pistol & Boo were smuggled into Australia
Tuesday 1 May
5.33am: Dawn seems to arrive earlier every day. I don’t mind, the weather’s beautiful, but it means I can’t sleep in. It’s straight out of the hammock and off to work. Jonas & Roy complain if I don’t get moving early.
9.03am: Wow it’s hot today. I don’t know why I have to always do the hard yards. It’s an uphill climb all the way to the top of the hill, and I’m not even allowed to take off my uniform. Hot, cold, wet or windy I have to wear the same stupid red shirt day after day. At least I can see the lagoon from here.
3pm: I’m sick of work. I work, work, work and I never seem to get ahead. I know I’m not a millionaire, but there’s not a single luxury here. Nothing. There’s no phone, no lights, and hey, even if we had a car they’d probably expect me to peddle it.
6.35pm: Finally, dinner time and what does Tina cook? Coconut Cream Pie. Again! I mean Lovey, I’m thirstin’ for something tropical, but does it always have to be coconuts? Can’t we have fish? Even a minnow would be better.
Who am I?
Answer: Gilligan/Bob Denver
Dawn arrives early - Dawn Wells played Mary Ann; Straight out of the hammock - Gilligan slept in a hammock; Jonas & Roy - Jonas Gumby and Roy Hinkley were the names of The Skipper & The Professor; Uphill Climb - It’s an uphill climb is a line from the theme song; Wear the same red shirt every day - Gilligan wore the same red shirt across the show; The lagoon was a feature of Gilligan’s Island; Not a millionaire - The Millionaire Thurston Howell the 3rd was a castaway; ‘Not a single luxury’ is a line from the theme song; ‘No phone, no lights, no car’ is a line from the theme song; Gilligan had a pedal car made out of bamboo; What does Tina cook? - Tina Louise played Ginger on Gilligan’s Island; Lovey I’m thirstin’ - Lovey & Thurston Howell were characters on Gilligan’s Island; Something tropical - Gilligan’s Island was a tropical island; Even a minnow would be better - The SS Minnow was shipwrecked on Gilligan’s Island
Monday 30 April
11.24am: Big day ahead. I think it’s time to call in an exterminator. The place is packed with rats. I think they’re even getting into the wiring. I flipped a switch and I saw 3 flashes. Man, I gotta get out of New Jersey.
1.15pm: I’ve decided. I’m definitely moving. I called my pal Joey and he’s trying to land me a job out west. I got high hopes that he might be able to get me a gig on the board. I hope there ‘aint no rats out west.
4pm: Anchors away, I’m leaving tonight! Goodbye Hoboken, hello Nevada. Nancy is coming with me, and I’m booked on the blue eye at midnight.
11.58pm: The flight’s about to take off. I feel like I’m going from here to eternity, but it’s only Las Vegas. Deano and Sammy are meeting me at the airport, and we’re going to swing by the club for a drink. I hope this goes well, but at least I did it my way.
Who am I?
Answer: Frank Sinatra
Packed with rats - Sinatra was the leader of The Rat Pack; Saw 3 flashes - Sinatra first joined a band called the 3 Flashes; Gotta get out of New Jersey - Sinatra was born in New Jersey; Pal Joey - Famous Sinatra movie; High Hopes - famous Sinatra song; Gig on the board - He was known as The Chairman Of The Board; Anchors away - Sinatra started with Gene Kelly in this movie; Hoboken/Nevada - Born in Hoboken, lived in Las Vegas/Nevada; Nancy - Sinatra’s daughter (and 1st wife); Blue eye - he was known as Old Blue Eyes; Here To Eternity - Sinatra won an Academy Award for this movie; Las Vegas - Sinatra’s base for many years; Deano & Sammy - Dean Martin & Sammy Davis Junior were members of The Rat Pack; Swing by the club - Sinatra was a famous swing artist; Did it my way - My Way was his signature tune
Friday 27 April
8.15am: Allan just called and said I have to organise the party. Why? Everyone else gets to have fun, but I get stuck with the hard labour. As far as I’m concerned, we should just put on a sausage sizzle and some balloons, but oh no, it’s a 35th, so it has to be huge.
1.45pm: Ok, so it’s going to be a 1960’s-70’s style costume party. Surfing Safari music, that sort of thing. Everyone is going to wear a different hat. I’ve got a cabinet full of them, ready and waiting.
7pm: It’s time. The party’s starting. I’ve been counting people as they come in. It was hard work, but I pulled up my socks and got it done. Seriously, it’s going to be terrific. Allan thinks it’s a bit middle of the road, but I’m tickled pink.
Midnight: Wow, what a night. I was overwhelmed with a tidal wave of emotions. Adele & Co handled the catering, and everything looked like a work of art. The gossip in The Mall is that it was the premier party of the decade.
Who am I?
Answer: Don Dunstan
The party and hard labour - Don was leader of the Labour Party; Sausage sizzle - Usually out the front of polling stations; 35th - Don was the 35th premier of SA; 1960’s–1970’s - Don was Premier between 1967 and 1979; Surfing Safari - he wore safari suits; Different hats/Cabinet full of them - everyone wears a different hat in the parliamentary cabinet; It’s time - a famous Federal Labour slogan from 1972; Counting people - counting votes; Pull up socks/tickled pink - Don wore long socks with pink shorts; Allan thinks it’s middle - Don’s middle name is Alan; Tidal wave - Don famously went to Glenelg when a psychic predicted a tidal wave; Adele & Co - Adele Koh was Don’s 2nd wife; Work of art - Don was famous for promoting the arts; Rundle Mall - Don was instrumental in creating The Mall; Premier party of the decade - Don’s premiership is known as The Dunstan decade
Thursday 26 April
6.12am: Man, I hate it when I sleep in. Sun’s up, birds are singing in the trees, Mel got up early and shot breakfast by the brook. I feel like the day is already slipping away. I’ve got a hot date tonight though, so I have to get ready. She is a total fox.
10.35am: Just finished a hardcore workout.
2.30pm: Had a huge lunch with the men. I thought it was a bit deer, but everyone wanted to tuck in. Richard was a no show again. I love him, but he drives me nuts. We always seem to be either waiting for him or avoiding that other guy.
9.30.pm Almost time to turn in. We’ve been sitting around the campfire with a couple of flasks of mead. Errol, Sean, Russell, Kevin and the guys are all a bit merry. Marian made this really rich pie. She asked if I would share it with the poor guys and I said ‘Sherwood’.
Who am I?
Answer: Robin Hood
Mel/Brook - Mel Brooks made 'Robin Hood Men In Tights'; Total fox - Maid Marian was a fox in Disney’s 'Robin Hood'; Run/archery/swim/felt like being chased - Robin was often chased through the woods; Alan and John - Alan A Dale/Little John; Activewear/tights - Robin wore tights; The men - Merry men; Bit Deer - Popular food in Robin Hood movies; Tuck in - Friar Tuck; Richard - Robin often seen as waiting for King Richard to return; Other guy - Guy of Gisborne; Mead - popular medieval drink; Errol, Sean, Russell, Kevin - Errol Flynn, Sean Connery, Russell Crowe & Kevin Costner have all played Robin; Marian made - Maid Marian; Rich pie shared with the poor guys - Robin stole from the rich to give to the poor; Sure would - Sherwood
Tuesday 24 April
9.15am: Time for a mike check. Check one. Check one. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming. From
10.45am: The auditorium is filling. I think I know the answer. They’re here to see if I can talk the talk.
11.50am: There’s no
4.15pm: Ok, it’s showtime! Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for coming. First, don’t worry about the wrinkles, they come with time. And always remember, everyone is always chasing each other. If you get a car, then you get a car and you get a car. Once you understand that, you can win free.
Who am I?
Answer: Oprah Winfrey
Nashville, to Baltimore to Chicago - Oprah started her TV career in these cities; The billion dollar question - she’s a billionaire; Talk the talk - she’s a talk show star; 60 minutes - the Oprah Winfrey Show ran for an hour, and Oprah is a special reporter on 60 Minutes; Purple - she was nominated for an Oscar for 'The Colour Purple'; Groucho monkey business - Oprah’s company is called Harpo, 'Monkey Business' is one of the Marx Brothers’ movies; Jump up and down/Sprawl on the couch: Tom Cruise infamously jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch; The secret - Oprah promoted the controversial book 'The Secret'; Winkles come with time - Oprah stars in 'A Wrinkle In Time'; You get a car, then you get a car and you get a car - a famous Oprah giveaway; Win free - Winfrey
Monday 23 April
6.30am: The alarm went off 10 minutes ago. I really should have jumped out of bed, but at my
2.12pm: I had lunch with Morgan. I told him about the incident at Walmart. He laughed and said at least I could cross going cuckoo off my list. I may have put another dent in the Brasso.
3.15pm: I met Detective Jake this afternoon. Apparently hitting a fan with a tin of Brasso is frowned upon. Apparently, I need to manage my anger. I said it wasn’t my fault, but they couldn’t handle the truth.
Who am I?
Answer: Jack Nicholson
Walmart - he's American; Polishing statues - he has 3 Oscars; Ding Dong Ding Dong Frank - he played Frank in 'The Postman Always Rings Twice'; Morgan - he starred with Morgan Freeman in 'The Bucket List'; Cuckoo - he starred in 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest'; Detective Jake - he played Jake Gittes in 'Chinatown' and 'The Two Jakes'; Manage my anger - he starred in 'Anger Management'; Handle the truth - a quote from 'A Few Good Men'