‘Twere only a matter of time before the ‘powers that be’ opt for another scapegoat, and so promiscuously oppress the masses…

Yeah, so basically, a principal’s cracked the shits and has gotten sick of ‘Dylan’ from class 9C whipping his locks side-to-side in a display of testosterone-fueled hyperactivity.

The ‘no-nonsense’ principal has vowed to send home students who front to school with mullets and other outlandish hairstyles.

You might expect this to be in an affluent Eastern States area – you’d be forgiven for thinking – But actually, it’s happening in Tassie.

Jon Franzin, the principal of the all-boys St Virgil’s College in Hobart’s north, said the strict rule is in place to prepare the young men for ‘life beyond the college gate.’

It is believed parents received a letter ahead of Term 2, warning them their children could be sent home and potentially suspended for having an ‘inappropriate hairstyle that does not comply with the college’s expectations’.

‘Just as many workplaces have expectations of presentation, the college expects its students to adhere to a dress code that includes neat hair and appropriate uniform.’

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Mr Franzin’s hardline stance has been met with bemusement from many parents, but the principal insists the policy adheres with the College’s holistic education focus, which will see them ‘thrive’ in the future. I’m not sure how it’s relevant either.

I can’t help but think this might be an outdated opinion as the mullet haircut – short at the sides, long at the back – is back in vogue across Australia.